Chapter 2: Part 2: Paranoia

I ate my meal slowly, modeling after my mother's graceful ways. I knew I was too abrupt, and not very graceful. I set down my fork and straightened myself, preparing for another attempt at perfection.

"Caspian, will you kindly pass the stewed carp?" I asked in my most ladylike tone. With a strange look on his face, he passed the food to me. Nodding my thanks, I took the ladle in order to serve myself carefully. An unwanted elbow jostled my arm, landing the soupy mess somewhere across the table. I never found out where, because I simply rose and fled from the room, heading for my cabin.

"El? Can we talk, sweetheart?" My mother's voice comforted me, now sprawling on my bed. I was thumbing through another book, not really reading, just needing something to do with my hands.

"Of course, Mother," I sighed.

"There's something you need to understand. Being a princess can be as hard or as easy as you want it to be. It's up to you to set the tone. Sure, it will take some time, but you have potential to be a well-loved ruler of Narnia. We need to help the citizens forget their troubles and make the country peaceful and prosperous." As she paused I interjected.

"But they're coming out of a golden age, Mother. They can't be...won't be happy unless we live up to what the kings and queens left for us. I want to make a good impression...I just have no potential...or grace...or poise...I don't know...I think I'm already maturing, and I think it's paranoia of some sort, and...."

"You're wandering, El," She gently reminded, "I believe we'll make this a joint effort."

"Uh, Mother, you can pull off being a queen without effort. Besides, I don't really want to be a prim, precious little doll. I want to be strong and courageous. A sort of role model, I suppose. I'm different from other girls. I can already swim like a boy, and you know I've always been interested in swordsman...swordswomanship, I suppose. I'm straightforward and not in the least genteel. I want someone to teach me swordplay, and archery, though I know I won't be much good at it, and...oh dear, I can't keep my thoughts straight at all. Do you know what I mean?" I concluded anxiously. Mother simply nodded.

"I think I need to speak with your father, Elwen. Don't fret, dear, the coronation doesn't take place until a week after we arrive. We'll figure it out." Rising, she patted my cheek with her beautiful hands, and left the room with a purely angelic smile. My book had fallen onto the bed, and the illustration depicted a centaur. Reaching my hand into my pocket, I lovingly set the wooden centaur on my bedside table.

"I name thee knight of the Sea Star, Sir....Sir Morenus!" Satisfied, I picked up the book once more.